A post for the new year, five days late, but better than never! I had such great intentions for drafting a Thanksgiving post, which then turned into a Christmas post, and has now inevitably turned into a late New Year’s post. 2012 was a momentous year, with several huge milestones. We settled into a new life in the suburbs, transitioning from our urban rental right outside of downtown Austin to a single-family home south of the city. I left my job and transitioned into the role of stay-at-home- mom. But most notably, of course, was that March of 2012 gave me my two precious miracle babies. (I’d like to point out here that I still refer to them as “precious” even as I sit here watching Cameron on the baby monitor sitting in his crib and screaming at the camera with indignant fury at being told it is nap-time). We spent the rest of 2012 transitioning from the DINK (double-income-no-kids) lifestyle to the new-parents-single-income lifestyle. A shock to the system to say the least! I am convinced this transition will last until our boys are grown and gone and the next transition begins.
Last night we had dinner with a couple we just met who moved to Austin a month or so ago and is expecting twin boys in February. Talking with them and hearing their questions made me reflect on this past year. All of a sudden, I realized that WE are now the experienced ones, as crazy as that sounds. Because on a daily basis, my husband and I are pretty darn sure we have no clue what we are doing. But after a little more than nine months, I have given up the obsessive book and internet research that was making me crazy and we have adopted a system of child-raising (at least in this early stage) that can be summed up by asking, “Is anyone choking? sick? covered in poop? pee? vomit? no? OK, we’re good.”
Our conversation with this couple allowed me to reflect back on the last nine months of our lives. I remember the day Aidan and Cameron were born, how nervous, excited and overwhelmed I was. After over a year of tests, surgeries, fertility treatments and repeated disappointments, the moment hadn’t seemed possible. I remember seeing them for the first time, so very little, and not believing that they were both actually inside me just moments before! That week in the hospital, I felt so protective of these tiny beings that were entirely dependent on me for survival and I didn’t see how I could possibly love anything any more than I loved them. But nine months later, I think that, if possible, I love them even more than I did during that first week. And it feels like that love grows every day. If it keeps up on this exponential scale, I worry that my heart might possibly burst at the seams.
Then
Now
I am so excited about 2013. I look forward to spending time with my new little family and my wonderful friends, the boy’s first birthday, beginning several projects and working on several in progress. I know that 2013 will have rocky parts, just like 2012 did, but we made it through, survived and thrived. So bring it on 2013!
this pilgrim soul 