Aidan
Yesterday was my twin boys’ two-month birthday. I feel (depending on the moment and my mood) like these past two months have passed by in a whirlwind or alternatively that I am emerging from a black hole of time. Nothing any friend or stranger could ever tell you can prepare you for that great leap into parenthood, and more exactly, into motherhood. I find that the words so many offered – “it will change your life,” or “your life will never be the same again” – always delivered with a knowing (and sometimes smug) smile, fail to completely encapsulate the situation. A more apt description came from a friend of mine who had her baby four months before me. When I called to check in on her a week or so after the birth she said, “I’ve gone down the baby rabbit hole.”
The first months have certainly had the Alice in Wonderlandish vibe that my friend felt. From the time I drove to the hospital in the dark on the morning of March 26th to have my babies, my life has been a series of strange, scary and wonderful events that I previously would not have believed possible. Even as I sit here to write this post, I can’t come up with the proper words to describe the experience. Suffice to say, I personally believe that having twins is excuse enough to have neglected this blog for as long as I have. Although I really started the neglect during my whopper of a pregnancy (which, by the way, also deserved an Alice in Wonderland theme- perhaps more on that in another post when I am far enough removed to find the humor…). Another wise friend counseled me one day as I beat myself up for failing to follow through on my blogging. She said that all of my creative energy was being directed to the ultimate act of creation that was taking place inside my belly. I think that is brilliant. (A bit of unsolicited advice here: always have friends that are more brilliant than you think you are).
Cameron
All in all, these awesome little beings are sleeping more, I am starting to get the hang of this mommy thing, and as a result, I am getting parts of my life back, little bit by little bit. One of those parts is, I hope, the ability to regularly post on my blog. Their father and I are extremely proud of the night-time routine we think we have established. (And yes, I know that by writing this down, I am jinxing the delicate situation, but here I go…). Baths, bottles, and in bed by nine to nine-thirty. The munchkins then have the uncanny ability to wake up at the exact same second I swear, and so at around one a.m., one of us will prop them up on their boppy pillows on the floor and feed them at the same time. The next person repeats at around four or five a.m. At six-thirty or seven a.m., the sun is rising and so are they, at which point my husband and I give up on sleep and everyone piles in the bed. This includes several boppy pillows, pacifiers, bottles, burp cloths, a dog, and two very strong cups of coffee. And when I looked at my little family in my bed this morning, going down that rabbit hole was so completely worth it.
this pilgrim soul 